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I’m smoking weed, listening to Led Zeppelin on my headphones, and looking at porn. It could be 1985.  The funny thing is, the porn is part of my job. I’m promoting it (Hi, Mom.) because I’m awesome at it. The funny thing is the Led Zeppelin and the w33d. It’s the perfect subject for Chaoist trinary perception. (Wow. I must be baked).  Let’s look at how one can  perceive (judge) this particular event in space/time.

1.) I haven’t matured a lick in 23 years, so I still listen to Led Zeppelin, smoke weed, and look at porn.

• Fuck off. In 1985 I would also being listening to Judas Priest, Jethro Tull, and The Cult. Also, I would be wearing a paisley shirt and white jeans. I would, however, have a 31 inch waist, and hair.

2.) I am following my bliss and I write porn because I’m getting paid to, and what the fuck. I like Led Zeppelin, and weed.

• I’m a good writer, a good marketer, and I like bondage porn, and more importantly, I like the people I work with (I work from home). I like Led Zeppelin. I like weed. I’m a grown up. Fuck off.

3.) Who the fuck cares? Get your head out of your ass and show a goddamn lolcat, or i’m going chew through my own nuts.

• See, this is why I smoke weed. Without weed I want to murder my family almost immediately. You, sir, with the nuts… are the winner. It doesn’t matter.

So, my actions are positive (true) in one sense, negative (false) in another sense, and meaningless in a third. w00t. I’m still broke. This is Truth. This is Truth.