This story has gone all over teh interwebs, but it is the Coolest Shit Ever, so I must report it to you, my dear Youdopia. The wonderful Lifehacker (bookmark it, if you haven’t yet) posted this amazing story of an advertising copywriter, who used google ad-words to get his dream job.  All for $6.

I could write about how he did it, or you could watch his video.  The moral of the story? Use your noodle.

Hello, Youdopia. Some time ago I wrote a post about the mammaries (or their terminus) of one Winehouse comma Amy. That one post has skewed my traffic to such a point that people searching “Celebrity Nipples” are 90% of my traffic. The very very sad thing is, that I went through 28 pages of search results, and never found my site. That means that hundreds of people, every day, scroll through hundreds and hundreds of results before reaching me… yikes. It truly is the craziest shit ever.

Things that google will show you, if you search “Celebrity Nipples”, before bringing you to me:

• โรงเรียนในฝัน(โรงเรียนดีใกล้บ้าน)สุราษฎร์ธานี: ประวัติสมาชิก …

• Penis Germs

• How I Laughed My Way Through Menopause – Google Books Result

Think of the number of masturbators involved, that bring me a couple hundred people a day… millions. That… is why I dig SEO.

nipples	13
lolcats	9
nipple slips	4
amy winehouse	2
nipple olympics	2
amy winehouse nipple	2
celebrity slips	1
celebrity nipple slip	1
gastonia police sniper conf	1
2008 sniper conference	1

Nipple Olympics? Really, google?

Yes, google. I like nipples.

I don’t know why, Youdopians. I don’t know why.  This is the craziest shit ever. This is how googles sees me? I was supposed to be a writer. Now I’m a repository of nipples and suicides.

nipples	2
cat nipples	1
best nipples	1
basement suicide	1
lolcats

In the words of Theodoric of York, ” I, for one, am baffled.”(This just in. I have the quote right, but the skit wrong. Here is the transcript to the skit I was thinking of) I only have a couple dozen hits a day on Youdopia, so it’s not like I feel like I have to even wear pants when I’m around…. but… the search terms that people use to get to Youdopia are pretty … unique. Take a gander.  What horrible fetish-laden search string brought you here, dear reader? For shame!

I kid you not, you can judge a man by his search terms. Women, it’s tits. But men… it’s search terms. By that rubric I am King Fucking King With A Great Big Dong. These are the terms that people actually typed into a search engine, only to be told, “One charming motherfucking pig? That’s this guy.  That’s how the Terminator computer that will kill us all thinks of me. Please do note: