Hi Youdopia. I’ve been busy, but I came across this hilarious video from John Cleese, in which he explains the God gene. Oh, it’s delightful to see such erudite humor in this fart filled world. Good stuff. I hope you’re all doing well. All things are good here. Mom’s on the roof. I think that this clip is some of the Funniest Shit Ever.
December 16, 2008
December 10, 2008
Funniest Shit Ever: This Stupid Video I Can’t Remember Finding
I found this in my online travels today. I don’t know where, although I think it was from the Daily Grail. It’s from an online series named Action Auto. It made me laugh seven hours ago. Maybe it will make you laugh. My wife quit smoking this week. I will not murder her. I will not smother her with a pillow. I am proud of her. Moodiness and shortness of temper are to be expected. This is not ok.
December 4, 2008
Funniest Shit Ever: Prop 8, The Musical. Starring A Bunch Of Famous People Being Funny
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
I don’t like Jack Black, but he’s funny in this. This is basically fucking hilarious. Youdopians, watch it and rejoice. This is funny… maybe the funniest shit ever.
December 1, 2008
Craziest Shit Ever: The World’s Oldest (known) Lolcat Photograph.
more animals
You, my fair youdopians, are bearing witness to what may be the birth of a meme. This image is purported (by those purporters who pretend to purport) to be the world’s first lolcat. It’s from 1905, and was found in a Seattle antique store. Over 100 years of lols. Yes, Virginia, you can haz cheeseburger. This is some of the craziest shit ever.
November 28, 2008
Funniest Shit Ever: Meth Minute Music Nerds Led Zeppelin Competition
This clips is hilarious. It’s a Led Zeppelin Name That Tune contest but amazingly funny. Youdopians, this humor transcends whether you love Led Zeppelin, or merely like them a lot. I hope you enjoy the ha ha.I think Meth Minute 39 is a series I shall watch again.
I had to take down the Queermo Christmas. One of the participants got antsy. Lo ciento.
October 19, 2008
Funny Cat Video: An Engineer’s Guide To Cats
I awoke this morning to find this in my inbox. A friend of mine had the foresight to determine that I would enjoy this. She was correct, youdopians. It is a very humorous video about kitties. They’re not lolcats, but actual motion pictures with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s very clever, and has nothing to do with Obama, or the Apocalypse.
October 17, 2008
Craziest Shit Ever: “Property Of The Bavarian Illuminati” Stickers For Sale (fnord)
Yep, youdopians. There is a Texan (no word on if he’s from Bad Ass, Texas) but he sells these dandy stickers that one can place anywhere appopriate. Biphenyl.org is where I found this tidbit (via Boing Boing). It’s been quite an intense week. The collapse of the free market affected our business, and we made very little, but… kink never sleeps, and time passes.
October 10, 2008
Coolest Shit Ever: How About Michael Palin For President?
Ok, Youdopia, Yes I would fuck Sarah Palin. Hard and rough and leave her with an extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome. But.. instead of having a Hockey Mom run the country, why not a Lumberjack? I prefer Michael Palin. His accent is nicer.
October 2, 2008
“Leaked” Footage of Homer Simpson Trying To Vote For Obama And Getting Attacked By The Machine.
Do I think this clip was leaked? Well, youdopia, yes I do. I think it was leaked on purpose, but I think it was leaked. It’s pretty funny, as funny as the Simpsons get most days. Twenty years is a long time. I hope you enjoy this little clip.
September 26, 2008
Craziest Shit Ever: John McCain Plays David Letterman, Letterman Plays McCain. Couric Wins. Nicely Done.
Hello, youdopia. This will cease to be relevent in moments, but I thought it worth posting. John McCain cancelled on Letterman, to “race back to Washington” because of this economic downturn hysteria, and… well… watch.
September 23, 2008
Ninja Lolcat Moves With Moving. Zen Kitteh
Well, my youdopians, it is time for a lolcat… and not just any lolcat, but moving picture. Indeed.
September 19, 2008
September 18, 2008
Would You Beat It With Your Own Severed Arm? Would It Keep You Far From Harm?
With economy tanking, the free market corrupted absolutely, elections, et al… I want to provide a means for my dear Youdopians to gauge their readiness. Yes, readiness. Gather your water and dried peas. Air out the tent and find the camping gear, for we may all be heading for the hills. So, in preparation for that final apoalyptic showdown, I ask you to take the following test. The answer will determine your place in line. “But, Mark. what if I could survive longer than you?” Good question. That’s heresy. Now you’re dead. Next!
September 17, 2008
Coolest Shit Ever: A Sex Positive Indie Movie By Audacia Ray Available Online
Hi Youdopians. This is one of our official projects, so try not to be alarmed. The post is not about Led Zeppelin, or nipples. It is, however, about sex and comedy… so there.
http://www.daciaslovemachine.com
Audacia Ray’s new short film, “Dacia’s Love Machine” has been released! The 25-minute director’s cut is available online in .mp4 and .flv and is only $2.99 to download. Pathetic, but true fact, downloading this film costs less than the gas it would take to drive to my nearest Starbucks to hang out with a friend over coffee.
I have seen it and it is hilarious. Obviously it’s a movie about a fucking machine, but ultimately it’s a comedy and the fucking machine is really the star.
You see, Dacia originally received the Love Machine to review. As I recall, it was something along the lines of her orgasm being in spite of, not the result of the Love Machine and so she was less than thrilled to have it laying around her house, so she put an ad on Craigslist:
Sex machine for sale (not a person, an actual machine) - w4mw - 27
Date: 2007-12-03, 9:37PM ESTSo I’m a sex toy reviewer, and a little over a year ago I acquired a fucking machine to review (Topco brand, it retails at $395). It’s kinda big, and I really want it out of my apartment. It has all but one attachment (the one I used, which I will throw away), and technically it is lightly used.
Yes, it’s true, I’m trying to sell my lightly used sex machine on CL. I’m asking $100 for it, you come pick it and get it out of my life. It’s manageable to get it on the subway (probably easier with two people), but I recommend wrapping the box in brown paper or something, since it has pictures and words that will make your package very obvious.
CL doesn’t allow me to post the link to the review, but go to fleshbot[dot]com and search “Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Fucking Love Machine,” and scroll down to the bottom of the page - the review was posted on October 20, 2006.
She filters through the responses, some of which are so outlandish that I had to ask her, “Did people really respond that way?” To which she replied, “Yes, all of those responses are genuine!” WOW! A study in strange humanology, but I love to peek through the door of the crazy world in which we live. Human nature only gets more and more curious as people stop by to look at the machine in person.
Click the picture to go to www.daciaslovemachine.com and download the movie. The first twenty five people who buy the download get a free sex toy courtesy of EdenFantasys - you have your choice between a pocket rocket and a masturbation sleeve.
Seriously, I personally guarantee you that this will be the best $3.00 you spent today ($2.99, actually). Marky and I got to preview the film and we both thought it was clever, funny, curious, voyeuristic, entertaining, and did I mention funny? Now go! Enjoy 25 minutes of unique entertainment.
I have made a viral video of this movie, and once I post it, you can see it. It’s funny.
September 12, 2008
Gina Gershon As Sarah Palin In This Satirical Video
See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die
My fellow Youdopians, this is a tad lowbrow, but… Gina Gershon is always funny and sexy, and here is no different. Sarah Palin may be a MILF, but so what? I want to fuck lots of women, Gina Gershon being one of them, and I’m not going to vote for her. McCain lost points with me over this whole deal. It was a smart choice for snatching some Hillary voters, but… I don’t want to Governor of Alaska running the country if/when McCain succumbs to… simply being in his 70’s. Biden could run the country ably, I think. He’s a prick, kind of, but he’s not a dumb one.
You know what? Who cares? Watch the video, giggle a little and realize that 40 something GIna Gershon would be a blast in the sack.
September 4, 2008
Craziest Shit Ever: Nipple Olympics? Today’s Crazy Search Terms
| nipples | 13 |  |
| lolcats | 9 | |
| nipple slips | 4 | |
| amy winehouse | 2 | |
| nipple olympics | 2 | |
| amy winehouse nipple | 2 | |
| celebrity slips | 1 | |
| celebrity nipple slip | 1 | |
| gastonia police sniper conf | 1 | |
| 2008 sniper conference | 1 | |
Nipple Olympics? Really, google?
August 30, 2008
God Bless You, Snarling Misanthrope. Coolest Shit Ever.
Cross Posted from Best Sex Bloggers.com (A blog that I found in the woods, and also own.) I found the image myself.
As you already know, this past week we took the first step of anointing our new god, the golden child, the chosen one, the Padawan who would be Supreme Galactic Chancellor. And what a picked pickled pepper of pageantry that was. We had all the drama that the NPR-elite could possibly muster, except without all the lisping that you get on the radio version. The sidebar to this was the 1000-fold increase in activity on Denver Craigslist. Everybody got some, and then some.
And this coming week we will bear witness to the congregation of the veritable Legion of Doom to the DNC’s Super-Friends. Yes, the Republicans are coming! And they’re bringing the earth’s most popular governor with them! (Of course, it’s easy to be the earth’s most popular governor when the state of your governance has about as many people in it as Columbus, Ohio.) They’re bringing a crotchety old guy who can’t remember stuff! And they’re even bringing their own Hillary Clinton – no, not Sarah Palin (she’s more of a William H. Macy from Fargo sort of figure), but the brokenhearted, crestfallen figure of one Mitt Romney. (Let us hope that Tag and Trig can forge some sort of truce.)
But can the conservatives top the liberals in terms of sheer electronic sexual alacrity? So far, it looks like a no. But in order to sniff them out, first you have to learn how to crack their code. Republicans more than any other race of humanoids rely on code-speak to a ridiculous degree. But we’ve broken it. And so, for your edu-tainment, here are but a few of the acronyms that Republicans use when trolling the intertubes for a little NSA filibustering…
F – let’s fuck
LFCH – let’s felch
LPH – let’s phish
IWTDYOSMB – I want to drill your off-shore mines, baby
GAAPOTMLATTYC – go ahead and plaster on the makeup like a trollop tonight, you cunt
IWYTSMLOPN – I want you to shake me like our party’s nominee
OPIGDASWI – our party is going down, and so will I
SKSVILA – seeks Vicki Iseman look-alike
WINBOBFISP – who in the bluest of blue fucks is Sarah Palin
PGMHSS – please, God – make her stop screeching
YKINMK – your kink is not my kink
OKMT – okay, maybe tonight
YKINOK – your kink is no one’s kink
YKSLAADBPB – your kink smells like ass and discount-brand peanut butter
IAATPB – I am allergic to peanut butter
BITMFT – but I take medication for that
LGKTSICDULTOIT – let’s get kinky tonight so I can draw up legislation to outlaw it tomorrow
TIPCAICY – tonight, I’m pro-choice – and I choose you
AEIOU – autocratic ejaculate is our ulterior (motive)
ASY – and sometimes yellow (instead of ejaculate)
RNC=AR! – the Republican National Convention equals anal rampaging!
PDLLAC – please don’t look like Ann Coulter
FFMUILLAC – force-feminize me until I look like Ann Coulter
LLCT – let’s Larry Craig tonight
IBWATMSPIA – I’ll be waiting at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport
S#_ - stall # ___
PAMR – Patriot Act my rectum
YMTHAABOJB – you, me, Ted Haggard, and a bottle of Jim Beam
LMFDAGI – let’s meet for drinks and grope interns
TWML100YBIOL2M – the war might last 100 years, but I only last 2 minutes
PDOM – please don’t out me
SEGWMM – seriously, Ed Gillespie will murder me
RTAPT – Rudy’s throwing a party tonight
BYOD – bring your own dress
August 17, 2008
Craziest Shit Ever: A Little Blasphemy For The Sabbath
Vale, Youdopians (both of you). I saw this on my favorite Led Zeppelin board, and I had to nick it. I marvel at the humor inherent in (almost) any situation. This just tickles my funny bone.
August 15, 2008
The Ten Oldest Jokes In The World (Religion not included)
Shamelessly foisted from http://blogs.discovery.com/news_archaeorama/2008/08/worlds-ten-olde.html. Their embed code didn’t work, so I nicked it… and I’ll do it again.
The oldest recorded joke dates back to 1900 B.C, according to a research into the ten oldest gags carried by the University of Wolverhampton, UK, and commissioned by the TV satellite channel Dave.
Heading the top 10 is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq. Surprise, surprise… the joke, inscribed in tablets, involves what else? Flatulence.
So here are the jokes. Perhaps I lack a sense of humor, or perhaps something got lost in translation, but it seems to me that — unless you’re into toilet humor, oxen drivers or randy pharaohs – these jokes are just not funny.
1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)
2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)
3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon’s load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon’s load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)
4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, “I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye.” And she answered him: “Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?” (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)
5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: “Help, nobody is attacking me!” No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)
6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)
7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC – 30 BC)
8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: “Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?” “No your Highness,” he replied, “but my father was.” (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)
9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said “I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.” (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)
10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: “In silence.” (Collected in the Philogelos or “Laughter-Lover” the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)
