Hail Eris,
Discordian.com asks a favor.
This American election represents a chance to retake the memetic landscape of the US. PLEASE HELP.
To the US Americans on this list:
Please vote for Barack Obama.
To the Californians on this list:
Please vote NO on Prop 8.
To everyone else:
Please urge your friends in the US and California to vote for Obama and against Prop 8. While the US may be waning, it is still a cultural behemoth in the world, and its policies affect people everywhere. Please help.
Please vote TOMORROW NOVEMBER 4. Don’t know your polling place? http://maps.google.com/vote
Let me tell you why this should matter to you, as a Discordian.
We normally avoid politics in an official capacity (though everyone involved in Discordian.com and KallistiCon holds strong political opinions, we rarely mix politics and irreligion). This year is different.
We had to say something!
There are many of you who say that voting doesn’t matter, it only upholds the validity of the state and that either candidate is a vote for The System.
We refuse to believe that!
The System doesn’t need your vote to feel validated, and we DO need your vote to make things in this country and the rest of the world a little better. If anything, The System wants you to feel disenfranchised and apathetic so it can get on with fucking you over while you lay the fuck down and let it.
Don’t be duped into thinking you don’t matter!
Here’s our top 5 reasons to PLEASE VOTE FOR OBAMA:
5. Our goal is to make this world and this country a weirder, better, more fun place to live. Given the governmental structure, we feel we must be involved and engaged in governance of this country. The government isn’t falling any time soon (and we must admit that if it did, we’d probably be the first against the wall), so in order to have a government that sucks less, we have to get involved. Voting may be a small gesture, but it is a first step on the way towards reclaiming an American government that represents ALL the people, even the Discordians.
4. Palin may be hot, but she’s also a scary Christian dominionist. She is a “prayer warrior” and a part of a group that seeks to control governments all across the world to create a one-world government for Jesus. I wish I were joking. Start your research here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bruce-wilson/katherine-harris-was-in-s_b_140164.html You better believe that the more power these people get, the more danger we crazy heretics are in. If you want more links, email stmae@discordian.com.
3. On a practical level, much of the law that affects our daily lives is based on case law and decisions from the Supreme Court. The next President will have the chance to replace as many as 3 Supreme Court justices. Even a less-rabidly-conservative Republican like McCain will appoint conservative justices, and this will tip the balance to a majority conservative bench. These people will be in place for decades after this President is gone. We cannot afford a majority conservative Supreme Court!
2. Supply-side economics sucks! Trickle down doesn’t fucking trickle down. The current global economic crisis can be directly traced to deregulation of Federal economic policy - deregulation pushed by, endorsed by and voted for by McCain.
1. What better way to piss off all the racists at once than to elect a black President? Obviously not all those who oppose Obama are racists, but all the racists sure do hate him. Seriously, what better Jake than to anger every white supremacist asshole in the country?
You may be reading this and saying, “so I don’t like McCain, but what about Nader?” Let’s be realistic here - Nader is not going to win, nor is any other third party candidate. Voting for a third party is about securing funding for them for future elections, and about registering dissent with the two-party system. This is important, and if you’re in a very safely Democrat state, please go ahead and vote your conscience. If you are in a contested or red state, please consider that this year, the Sucks Less Party may win and your vote can really help make a nation-wide difference. We humbly ask you to vote Democrat even if you have to hold your nose to do it.
For the Californians, here’s why you should vote against Prop 8.
Prop 8 seeks to remove the right of same sex couples to marry by amending the state Constitution to define marriage as being between one man and one woman.
You should vote against it because:
5. Amending the state Constitution to remove a right - any right - sets a dangerous precedent.
4. Yet again, pissing off bigots = WIN.
3. The very right to privacy is based on the fact that the US Constitution does not define marriage or private relationships. We don’t have a Constitutionally guaranteed right to privacy, it’s all based on case law. Amending the California Constitution paves the way towards an amendment of the US Constitution, and then you can kiss your privacy goodbye.
2. The pro-8 jerks say that voting down 8 means kids will get taught about gay marriage in schools, while the anti-8 people say they won’t. We say, it’s dangerously ignorant for a kid not to learn about queer people. Bring it the fuck on.
1. Hollywood. Where would our entertainment industry be without gay people? Letting same sex couples marry in our state will attract talented creative people in all industries and can only be good for our economy, not to mention what we watch on television and on the big screen.
Obviously there are a lot more reasons to vote for Obama and against Prop 8, and if you’re interested send an email to stmae@discordian.com and we’ll happily feed you more.
Will Obama be a perfect President? Of course not. Will he be a wonderful representative for Discordians, in all our freaky glory? Probably not. Will he maybe actually listen to us (instead of ignoring, disenfranchising, and criminalizing us as Bush has)? Yes. Is he the best choice we’ve had in decades? HELL FUCKING YES.
Please don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
Please vote tomorrow, and please vote for Obama.
Discordians, progressives, and weirdos around the world will thank you. Feel free to pass this on, repost, whatever.
All hail Discordia,
St. Mae
Discordian.com
