I found this in my online travels today. I don’t know where, although I think it was from the Daily Grail. It’s from an online series named Action Auto. It made me laugh seven hours ago. Maybe it will make you laugh. My wife quit smoking this week. I will not murder her. I will not smother her with a pillow. I am proud of her. Moodiness and shortness of temper are to be expected. This is not ok.
December 10, 2008
August 24, 2008
Jimmy Page Closes The Olympics In A Genius Move From A PR Standpoint
I think this is brilliant, youdopians. Cheesy to the max, the Super Bowl Halftime Show times a thousand, but… BILLIONS of people saw Jimmy Page not suck. From a PR standpoint, Mr. Page was just watched by half the fucking world. Nice. His solo was HOT! He’s obviously playing, and his appearance with John Paul Jones and the Foo Fighters had been rehearsed for months. Why? Is there new product to promote? Nope. Why? Why indeed?
June 27, 2008
That’s Dr. Jimmy To You. Jimmy Page Receives Honorary Doctorate
Score one for clean living, I guess. James Patrick Page (all hail!) was given an Honorary Doctorate (in Hermetic Studies… just kidding) by the University Of Surrey. Why? Because he is all things to all people, that’s why, apostate! So there you go kids. Study the occult, do drugs, bang teenage girls, and all this can be yours. Follow the narrow path of Dr. Jimmy. An honorary Ph.D. Goddamn.
June 26, 2008
I Want To Know, Am I The Sky Or The Bird
The quill from a buzzard, blood writes the word.
I want to know am I the sky or the bird?
Hells boiling over, and heaven is full.
We’re chained to the world, and we all gotta pull.
(We’re all gonna be just dirt in the ground) - Tom Waits
It’s a wild life. I’m at least halfway through it, and I have yet to reach cruising speed. It’s amazing that we know we’re going to die, but we act like we’re not. The wise ones have always said to keep two things in the forefront of your mind at all times. First is an awareness of That, and second is your own death. Tick Tock.
I know I shall die. I don’t know what will, or will not happen to “me” when this body goes kaput, but it shall. George Carlin was, and he was not. Same with my grandma, and the same with us all. Moths to a flame.
May 28, 2008
Your Majesty, You Look Like The Piss Boy! (Mel Brooks)
I loved this movie when it came out. It makes me laugh still. This scene, although a bit long, is truly hilarious in places. This is part of Mel Brooks’ History of the World Part 1. This is the last funny movie Mel Brooks made. That’s right, Spaceballs isn’t funny. Sorry. Anyhoo, this little scene, which takes place on the cusp of the French Revolution, features Mel Brooks in dual roles as Louis XVI, and the humble garcon du pis. Harvey Korman is the amazingly vile and mincing Count DeMoney (De Mo-NAY). Good stuff. You’ve got your, “It’s good to be the king.”, “Everything’s so green!”, the legendary exchange:
De Money: “It is said, your Majesty, that your people are revolting.”
The King: “You said it. They stink on ice!”
But nothing matches the sublime timing, and vitriol of “Your Majesty, You look like the Piss Boy!”
It’s 6:40 in, for those vile worms too “busy” for the darshan of Jewish Humor (which I call Jumor).
Enjoy.
May 2, 2008
Mr. President, Have You Ever Called Your Wife A Cunt?
What a twat. I mean the guy that asked the question. I have no beef w/ McCain. Of course the septuagenarian is a convervative. I will be too.
April 30, 2008
Turn Turn Turn. As Above So Below, Motherfucker.
I came across this today while trolling the Fortean Times for anomalies. You have to click on the pic to read the captions, but the gist is this. The picture on the left is a mouse neuron. The pic on the right is the universe. Thrice Great Hermes (Adam Kadmon to his cronies) may have been right.
