I Loved This Game

Break Glasses, Wreck a Laptop, Set Fires

All To Turn A Newspaper Page

This is just fucking great. Remember the beginning of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? The breakfast machine? It’s like that but better, because it’s clever as hell. Joseph Hersher is the genius behind this contraption. All hail.

Thank you to my antipodean friends at Daily Grail for posting this amazing contraption. It wrecks so much shit just to turn a page. Pure Goldberg. It’s the coolest thing ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOMIBdM6N7Q

There’s not much to say about this song, Youdopia, other than it’s one of the best songs ever performed (in my opnion). This song was recorded live in the studio, on one of the first eight track recorders, back in the late 1950′s. If you can hear the original with headphones, you’ll hear Ray slapping his pant leg with the music, as the Raelettes sing with him.

This song was improvised at a concert, and they went with it. Tom Dowd (the same fellow who recorded Derek and the Dominos) caught lightning in a bottle (as he was wont to do) with this song. It’s awesome. It’s also long, and filthy (that’s what she said). It was split into two parts, for radio play. Part two was the naughty, sexual part.

So, enjoy. Perhaps you remember the old SNL skit with John Belushi as Beethoven, taking a little toot of… snuff.. and then playing this. Good stuff.

I think this is brilliant, youdopians. Cheesy to the max, the Super Bowl Halftime Show times a thousand, but… BILLIONS of people saw Jimmy Page not suck. From a PR standpoint, Mr. Page was just watched by half the fucking world. Nice. His solo was HOT! He’s obviously playing, and his appearance with John Paul Jones and the Foo Fighters had been rehearsed for months. Why? Is there new product to promote? Nope. Why? Why indeed?

Another legend is gone. George Carlin died last night (Sunday, June 22) of heart failure. I discovered him in the eighth grade, when I stayed home from school and listened to my parents comedy records. I heard Class Clown and things were forever changed. That was my baptism into counter culture/ALT thinking, and I loved it.  In memoriam, I give you a cut and paste list of George Carlin quotes from Brainy Quote (brainyquote.com).

Always do whatever’s next.
George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
George Carlin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.
George Carlin

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.
George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin

I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.
George Carlin

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.
George Carlin

If God had intended us not to masturbate he would’ve made our arms shorter.
George Carlin

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin

In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
George Carlin

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin

Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
George Carlin

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
George Carlin

Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
George Carlin

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin

The status quo sucks.
George Carlin

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin

Think off-center.
George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin

When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
George Carlin

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin